How do I help my kid build grit?
Of the hundreds of families I’ve worked with in Mentava’s rigorous reading program, only several dozen kids have graduated.
It’s not talent that predicts genius—it’s grit.
They succeeded because they believed: I thrive when I do hard things. And time after time, they proved it to themselves.
This post will show you how to help your child build that identity — and carry it far beyond reading.
The hardest part of learning is the emotional hurdle, not the material
When kids learn something new, the biggest predictor of success is how they react when things get tough.
Resilience is the ability to persevere through hard times: to face a challenge, stumble, get frustrated, and still find the strength to stand back up.
At some point, every child hits a wall. They’ll feel stuck, emotions building like a storm. Most kids quit here — not because they aren’t capable, but because they don’t yet understand that frustration is necessary for growth.
At Mentava, your child will take one of their first real tests of resilience — working toward a goal, day after day, over many months. This journey can shape the learning habits they carry for life.
That’s where you come in. As a parent, you are your child’s first and greatest coach. You’re not there to clear the path — you’re there to encourage them to keep climbing, even when it’s hard.
By the end of their Mentava journey, your child won’t just know how to read. They'll know they can overcome challenges they once thought impossible.
4 Actionable Steps to Cultivate Resilience
We believe resilient kids are those who’ve internalized these beliefs:
Learning new skills is challenging. Set expectations that their daily practice will be frustrating at times. Avoid presenting Mentava to your kid as ‘playtime’. Rather, it’s a time when focus is required.
It can help to remind your child that reading is particularly hard. Most kids only learn to read around 7-8 yrs old. 1 in 5 adults in the US also cannot read.
MESSAGE: “It’s okay that you’re finding this hard, many of your friends won’t do this until they’re 8! Let’s take it slowly, making mistakes is part of learning new things.”
Doing hard things means you’re learning, not failing. Help your child to associate doing difficult things with growth, by normalizing struggle.
MESSAGE: "If it feels easy, you’re not learning anything new."
I can do hard things. This may be the first time your kid has tried something this difficult every day. They may lack confidence to even try. Focus on rewarding effort, not just results.
MESSAGE: “I can tell you put in a lot of effort today to get the answer. Even if you didn’t get the right answer, I can tell you tried hard and did your best. Keep doing that! I’m so proud of you for that!”
Doing something hard makes it easier tomorrow. Kids don’t naturally notice the delayed feedback loop of “I practiced this thing yesterday so now it’s easier today.” They need you to point out that cause and effect to them, and they’ll need frequent reminders to fully internalize it!
MESSAGE: “Remember how you were really struggling with [sound/word] last week? Now it’s so easy! That’s because you worked so hard on it!”
Repeat these messages often, even daily.
In Mentava, you can point out your kid’s wins in every level. After introducing a new concept, we finish each level with an ending story that tests the new sound/word and reviews earlier concepts.
These are perfect moments to celebrate how — just in a few days — your child mastered a new sound/word and used it to read a story.
Lock in resilience by overcoming impossible challenges
Your child is already learning to associate struggle with growth. But if you want that belief to truly stick, there’s something else you can do:
Help them break through a challenge they thought was impossible.
Every child will hit a moment when they want to give up — not because they can’t succeed, but because they don’t believe they can.
These are pivotal moments. If you know your kid just needs to continue trying for a breakthrough, then push them to get that win. In those moments, it is their parent’s belief in them that is pushing them - not just their own willpower.
Once your kid overcomes that challenge they previously recoiled from, they will know that they are powerful beyond measure.
⚠️ Important: Only push through if you’re certain your child is on the verge of a win. Pushing too hard through real failure can damage their confidence instead of building it.
Resilience → grit, the largest predictor of success
When your child discovers that growth contains inherent struggle, they are laying the foundation for everything that comes next — not just reading, but math, writing, music, sports, friendships, and life itself.
We’ve seen this transformation firsthand. Take Kevin, one of our graduates.
When he started, reading felt impossible — the frustration was overwhelming. But with steady encouragement and daily practice, he kept climbing. Kevin’s dad told us, "You’ve given him confidence to try. And it’s happening everywhere."
So, the next time your child hits a wall of frustration, cheer them on. Remind them of their strength. Have their backs while they face harder and harder challenges.
Doing hard things will give them an easier life.
To help you get started, we made a printout of 17 tactics you can use to build your kid’s resilience: www.mentava.com/grit
